wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
