We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize