If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
my liver is dry heaving
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
