You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
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The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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