haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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