I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
