Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Drake has all the answers
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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