tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
