bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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