haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
