I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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