She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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