I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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