Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize