watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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