You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize