Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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