he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
