Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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