enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
