I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize