then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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