Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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