I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
