Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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