Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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