Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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