I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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