All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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