The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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