Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
