wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
