you would pick up someone in the library
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
