Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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