Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
