just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
