We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
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the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
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It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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