her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
