you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
