How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
