i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
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don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize