It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
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His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
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yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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