This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
