You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
