I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
