I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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