i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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