I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
