Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
