Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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