his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
