Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
