Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
