Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
