Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
