it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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