Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
