At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
