You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
