Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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